I’ve been living and dating women in Medellin, Colombia for over ten years now.
Colombian women are beautiful, and word is spreading pretty much around the world. Therefore, I have decided to document my experience.
Places frequented by tourists in Medellin are more saturated with foreigners than ever before. Hot Medellin girls are not the sole reason for this rise in tourism to “The City of Eternal Spring,” but it is up there.
I started to document my dating life on this blog post back in 2013 as a fun side project. It has blossomed into a public journal that has helped me in my own personal development. I really enjoy sharing my experiences.
My goal with this blog post is to share what my dating life has been like and inform those wanting to come to Colombia.
Disclaimer: I am aware of the underworld of sex tourism, sex monger networks, and prostitution in Colombia and I know that there are many strip clubs and brothels in Medellin; however, strippers and “prepagos” (prostitutes) are not the types of girls that I date, nor is it something I would like to promote; therefore, I will not be referring to that in this post.
Also, this is a narrative of my own experiences. It is not meant to guide or advise other guys (I’m not a dating coach).
Lastly, I do not intend to degrade or belittle Colombian women. On the contrary, I respect them and believe that you’ll find extraordinary women no matter where you go. Medellin just happens to have many of them,
My Unique Perspective On Dating in Medellin
My situation is a little different from most foreigners here in Colombia. I am actually Colombian, my family is Colombian, I speak Spanish fluently, and more importantly (aside from my height, 6’2″) I look Colombian. I have lived my entire life, barring the last few years, in Southern California. At first glance, Medellin women do not perceive me as a foreigner due to the way I look. So I do not have that instant “gringo effect.”
The Gringo Effect
The “gringo effect” is the reaction a foreign guy gets from some girls here in Medellin. It is an immediate sense of curiosity that some Colombian women have upon seeing a foreigner. Most of my close friends here in Medellin are foreigners and I have seen girls break their necks checking them out as we walk down the street or through a mall.
I do not get that immediate attention here in Medellin. Actually, I got more instant attention in Southern California; the “Latino effect.” The only thing that makes me stand out to women in Colombia is my height, thank God for that one tall great uncle!
I speak Spanish fluently; therefore, I can’t play the “…no haaablo Españoler mucho bueno. Quieres practicar?” card with women in Colombia. Regardless, I look on the bright side and see this as an advantage.
I’m outgoing and funny, so I can really be myself when speaking Spanish. It is hard for one’s true personality to translate when speaking another language, but luckily I am a fluent Spanish speaker and have learned enough Paisa slang to be my witty self.
I have found that Medellin women, as in most parts of the world, love compliments, good conversation, and like it when a guy can make them laugh. So Spanish has been essential for me here in Medellin.
Places I Meet Women In Medellin
Meeting women in Medellin is not hard. Socially, women are a little different than the southern California women I was used to meeting.
I meet women, EVERYWHERE. There is an abundance of beautiful women here, and they’re nice. The culture here in Colombia is one of being friendly and social. So if you see someone you are attracted to at a cafe, a mall, a bar, on the bus, or the metro, it’s not weird to say hi, and try to start a conversation.
Although it’s easy to meet people here. It’s not easy to meet like-minded women. After over a decade here, my honeymoon with Medellin is over. I don’t just want a pretty, young girl. I’d like to find a pretty, young girl (younger than me, 25-30), that has goals, dreams, ambitions, and direction. Someone that challenges me to grow, and that I challenge too.
Here are my go-to places to meet women.
My way to meet women in Colombia is through activities.
- Nerd shit
I play basketball, spikeball (roundnet), and volleyball.
Basketball isn’t much of a co-ed sport, but I’ve been playing on teams in tournaments where there’s a men’s league and a women’s league. The games are always on the weekend, and they’re all mixed. So I can sit and watch the women play before or after my games. Being part of the basketball community has allowed me to connect with women that love basketball as much as I do. Granted that many of them are lesbians, lol, but it’s been a great experience and a great way to make friends.
Spikeball and volleyball are co-ed sports. There are Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp groups for both sports. It’s easy to join a group and play. Again, these groups serve as a great way to meet people and have a hobby in common. We will usually play for a couple of hours, kick it and drink beers afterward.
A couple of years ago, I started a non-profit organization with a group of friends called Help Colombia. Volunteering has been a great source of like-minded people. Before I started the non-profit organization, I would join volunteer activities across the city. My favorite thing to do is to help with kids and teach English. In these volunteer groups, you’ll meet amazing people. Altruistic people, have jobs, have other activities, etc. Again, after the volunteering event, people typically go out to grab a bite to eat or a drink. So it’s easy to make connections. There are Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp groups for these groups.
Festivals & Concerts & Shows
Medellin’s beautiful weather allows for many festivals throughout the year. From book festivals to craft beer-tasting festivals to international artists coming through, there’s always something to go to.
It’s straightforward to meet people at these events because that’s why people go to them. To be social, try new things, and meet new people. The best thing about these events is that they are paid events. There’s usually a cover charge, plus you have to have money to pay for food and drinks. So the profile of women who attend these types of events is different. Since it’s paid, most women you’ll meet some women have jobs, careers, and busy lives. This is attractive to me. It’s the type of woman I want to meet.
There are many places to find out what events are happening around the city. Social media is a good place to start. Furthermore, you can check out these sites, TicketExpress, LaTiquetera, CompasUrbano.
I love to play video games and board games. So I join groups that get together and play. For video games, it’s pretty much all online. For board games, you have to get together in person. We’ll go over to someone’s house, or I’ll host. These groups aren’t the best place to pick up women. I have taken a new love interest to board game night, and it’s always a hit.
Clubs & Bars
The pandemic lockdowns hit Medellin pretty hard. Clubs and bars had to shut down. Slowly, Medellin nightlife has bounced back. Unfortunately, Parque Lleras is now infested with hookers and older gringos buying them.
Fortunately, the area of Provenza has become pedestrian, and the number of clubs and bars there has increased.
Of course, the Provenza area isn’t the only place in town with nightlife, but it’s one of the best. I’ve lived here in Medellin for over 10 years now. I’ve lived in seven different neighborhoods across the valley, and I’m telling you, Provenza is the best nightlife area for me to meet women.
There are a few reasons for this.
The first reason is that I prefer to meet women 25 and older, with jobs, aspirations, goals, dreams, living independently, etc. Many of the other nightlife hotspots around the city are frequented by younger people. For example, the cubs on la 33, La 45 in Manrique, and the bars and discos in Buenos Aires. Those are all great places to party, but for me, they haven’t been a great places to pick up women. This is why I stick to Provenza and the clubs in Palmas.
The second reason is that it’s close to my house. I live within walking distance from Provenza. I don’t have to get in a car and travel very far. This is key for dates. I usually have the Uber bring my date to my apartment, we’ll walk over to one of the many restaurants in the area, get some cocktails, and head over to a dance club. When the night’s over, we either walk down the hill to my place, if she’s wearing heels, we’ll cab it, or Uber it down to my place. It’s pretty convenient.
Picking Them Up at a Bar or Club
It is not usual for women in Medellin to go out by themselves just to let loose. Typically, gorgeous girls in Medellin will go to a bar or a nightclub in a group, and many times there will be guys in that group. For an emasculated man from the United States, this is a nightmare. Penetrating that group of friends, playing “the game” to get to your “target girl” is hard work and sometimes does not work if you don’t speak Spanish well enough for her to understand.
Many guys who come to Colombia cannot pick up girls in their native language let alone in Spanish and some even have the audacity to say that the women here are just “gold diggers” or “too difficult,” which is not accurate at all.
Here in Medellin, you do NOT need to play that game. Medellin nightclubs are for dancing, so it’s very easy to go up to a woman in a noisy disco, put out your hand, gesture for her to take it, and start dancing. I do this often, and I often dance to one or two songs without even saying a word. Imagine our hands are on each other’s bodies before even knowing each other’s names.
More often than not, I’m not even interested in talking to the girl; I want to dance and have fun. I get in there and leave silently. Amazingly, when I do that, women are more attracted than when I start talking to them while dancing.
I’ve found that a certain amount of negligence after making an impression piques a woman’s interest. It is the whole psychological framework of the type of woman who wants a strong man (check out this great article on Psychology Today by Gina Barreca, Ph.D.) I started to read about this subject back in high school. It is not about being petulant or rude. It’s about being confident (comfortable in your skin.)
Dating Sites & Apps
I’ve only met women off of two paid services, Colombian Cupid, and Tinder.
I buckled down last year and got a Colombian Cupid dating site account (disclaimer: I’m not trying to push Colombian Cupid; that’s annoying. If you’re not interested in hearing my experience on the site, scroll down.)
I never needed to get an account because I met so many people through my language exchanges and just lived my life here in Medellin. Nevertheless, I subscribed for 3 months and gave it a whirl.
In 3 months, I went on about 20 dates from Colombian Cupid. It was pretty amazing. Out of the 20, I became friends with 8 girls, and we still hang out.
I found that the key to “matching” was to build out my profile well. What does that consist of?
- Picture – I had a great picture taken by my photographer friend, the one I use as a profile picture. The other four pictures are of me doing the things I love: playing basketball, watching Colombian soccer matches, having fun with friends, teaching, etc.
- Description – I’m a very blunt and honest person. In my profile description, I wrote about myself in that way. Stating that I am from California but that I am Colombian, and that I am always busy working, playing on my basketball team, and exploring Colombia. I wrote this in both English and Spanish.
- What I want – I was very straightforward in the part that asks what I’m looking for. I wrote: ‘I’m looking for a serious relationship, but if it doesn’t work, I’m always open to making new friends. My ideal girl is someone that will motivate me and inspire me every day. If your profile says “soy una princesa” please do no contact me.’
Once I had my profile built out over 90% (there’s a metric), I started messaging. I’m in sales. Therefore, it’s all in the numbers. I’m not a handsome blue-eyed, blond-haired guy so I know my strength is my gift of gab. So I made a goal to message 100 women.
At first, I started by writing a funny, short message. That bombed for me. I don’t know why, but I didn’t get any replies. So I put myself in the shoes of a paisa girl looking for a long-term relationship on Colombian Cupid, and I found my secret sauce.
My first message was a compliment about something they wrote on their profile, not their looks. Thus, I had to take the time to read their profiles and make a comment about something they wrote. It took more time, but the success rate skyrocketed. Here’s the formula I found:
- Do not click on the little heart to show interest. Very beautiful women get that every minute of the day.
- Read profiles and make a compliment or a relevant comment.
- I don’t write to them if they don’t have a bio written out. If they don’t take the time to write out their bio and what they’re looking for, then they are either too shy, not looking for something long term or it’s a fake profile for a prostitute or webcam girl.
Once I had a good message exchange, I would go to my filter, Facebook. Once I had them on Facebook, I could see all of their pictures, and they could see all of mine. Once we were keen on each other, I would ask for the date. You can do a Skype video call if you don’t live in Colombia.
There are always over 800 girls online.
I’ve written a post titled, My Experience Using Colombian Cupid. Feel free to read it and leave a comment there if you have any questions.
Tinder in Colombia
Right now, the use of Tinder here in Medellin is under scrutiny because many guys are going out with women, getting drugged and robbed. So learn the basic red flags before going on a date. My friend, Akash, made a good documentary about a guy who was drugged and robbed by his Tinder date titled, Drugged on Tinder Date | Scopolamine Danger | Robbed (Medellin, Colombia). There’s also a second part titled, Drugged on Tinder Date (Part 2) | Scopolamine Danger | The Aftermath (Medellin, Colombia).
That being said, Tinder has been a positive experience for me here in Medellin. As you know, I’ve been here for over ten years, so it’s pretty easy for me to see when a woman is a prostitute, a hood rat, or a good girl.
I don’t pay a monthly fee at Tinder, I pay for the boosts. Whenever I boost, I get a couple of matches, start chatting, and set up a date.
Colombian Girls are not Gold Diggers!
I’ve heard many foreign guys complain that they always get hit up for money (or things) by girls here. After seven years of living here in Medellin, I have discovered that most of the guys that get asked for cash or things are guys that try to date prostitutes.
Don’t be Captain Save a Hoe!
Even though it might look enticing because they are beautiful, charming, and down to earth, you rarely will be able to turn a “hoe into a housewife.” You will be taken advantage of, and you’ll resent Colombian women.
It’s unfair to generalize 25 million women because of a few bad apples. Instead, go out and try to meet a normal girl perhaps at the mall, bank, café, etc.
I tought English here in Medellin for four years (2011 – 2015). Though I have a business and I have not worked a “regular job” in a few years; teaching English in Medellin was the best move I could have made for my social life.
I never dated any of my students. I am very North American in that regard. Though dating students in Medellín is not uncommon and sometimes not even frowned upon, it is unacceptable in the United States, so I drew a line and never crossed it. I was the leader in my classes, and dating a student could have gotten messy; I could have lost all credibility and position in class, so I avoided it altogether.
I did, however, go out with groups of students and/or colleagues to make friends and meet new people. Students would add me on Facebook, and then their friends and cousins would add me. That served to be an abundant source of women here in Medellin. Facebook is huge here; striking up a conversation via messenger after being added is not hard.
Women in Medellin are Shy
I made this new friend and decided to pick up the picture at Carnaval de Barranquilla.
Most Medellin girls are pretty shy by nature. You have to understand that even though Medellin and the metropolitan area has around four million inhabitants, it is still a small town. Medellin is a conservative city that is very much in touch with its old traditions and customs. Family life is very traditional. Gender roles are also very conservative and defined, so logically the women in Medellin, for the most part, are timid (until you get some alcohol in them and play some reggaeton, but we will get to that in a later blog post.)
This inherently coy personality could make it difficult for a foreigner who doesn’t speak much Spanish to gain a girl’s interest. Even for a fluent Spanish speaker, I have found it frustrating sometimes. Many a time, I have given up on a girl only to find out later that she was very interested.
One-night stands with women in Medellin are not very common for me. I experienced more of this living in southern California than here in Medellin. A foreign-looking guy could probably have a very different experience. Not to say I haven’t had them here, but not as much as I did in the U.S.
Honesty and Jealousy
She’s got a bit of a temper but is a very cool friend.
I have found that being honest with women in Medellin is the best route. Letting them know right away that I work a lot, and that my business goals are my primary focus has proven to be a key factor when dealing with women here.
In my opinion, many men and women in Medellin are possessive. Some view their boyfriend or girlfriend as their possession, and they want to be viewed as a possession. So jealousy can get out of control. As an English teacher, most of my students’ ages range from 18 to 30, and there were always more female students than males. I used to love to ask my female students what they think of men in Medellin. It’s always pretty clear that women think that men are cheaters. It’s always noted that men in Medellin say anything to get a girl to fall for them.
There is a whole culture around having a “mosa,” in Medellin. It is almost expected for a man to have a chick on the side. So it’s no surprise that women become possessive and quickly suspect a guy of sleeping around. I avoid this by being honest and direct.
Grooming and Wardrobe
This grooming and wardrobe section I just put in today (05/03/16). I had to include it because I meet far too many guys that are just clueless. So let’s go over some faux pas (the don’ts) first.
Colombian Men’s Fashion Don’ts:
- Don’t wear flip-flops (open-toed shoes) to make a good impression on girls in Medellin. It’s ok on the coast, but women think it is gross here in Medellin.
I’ve recently noticed guys (black or Asian from the U.S.) wearing black basketball slippers with white socks and basketball shorts in public. For a Paisa, that is not attractive. Women here have told me that it looks like they’re wearing their pajamas. You’ll never catch anyone dressed like that in public unless if it’s a basketball player going to practice.
- Don’t wear shorts. During the day, it’s okay, as long as they are not board shorts (beach shorts). Stylish shorts that come down to the knee or just above work well. It can get scorching during the day in Medellin, yet most local men wear pants. Do NOT wear shorts to go out clubbing at night. They will not let you in. Melissa over at Medellin Living wrote a great piece on men’s fashion in Medellin.
Colombian Men Fashion Dos:
- Do groom. This means plucking your nose and ear hair. The nicely groomed half-beard is in these days, so that’s ok.
- Do shave your armpits. You will rarely meet a Colombian guy that doesn’t. Hence many Colombian women expect this. In fact, many shave their arms and sometimes legs too. I still think it’s pretty…feminine; therefore, I don’t do it. As long as you’re not super hairy, you’re fine.
- Do tuck your shirt in when you go to a fancy club. Again, this is something that I do not do, but local males do this, and women respond to it.
- Do take a shower. You will not get laid if you stink.
- Do brush your teeth. Colombians are obsessed with teeth. If you’ve got nice teeth, this can be a great defining quality to women here.
- Do wear cologne. They love that here. Most local guys douse themselves in it.
- Do look sharp at all times. I’ve gotten into the habit of always looking decent, even when going to the gym or basketball practice. I’ll always carry an extra shirt, toothbrush, deodorant, and body spray…because you never know whom you’ll meet on the Metro.
My Dating Life in Medellin
Here’s my dating life in updates over the years.
Jessica is gorgeous.
Dating Jes – September 10, 2015
I dated Jessica for several months, but things did not work out. Mostly because she had to go to Bogota for her internship and it was tough to keep the relationship going long distance.
She’s a fantastic girl: very hard-working, independent, entrepreneurial, and very sweet. I’m sure that many guys would say that I’m nuts for not keeping her, but that’s the way it is sometimes, gotta keep moving forward and not look back.
Today, I’m super interested in another girl here in Medellin. She’s also very hard-working, she’s more of a loose cannon than Jessica, meaning she’s a little more extroverted and opinionated, but that’s precisely the kind of girl I like. I’m taking it slower with her, I have been on two dates with her and kissed her only once. I’m consciously trying to be a complete gentleman and get to know her well.
With the cheap plastic surgery here and the obsession with outward appearance, it’s easy to get caught up with a very “artificially” beautiful girl, but I’m well past that point. So I’m delighted to have met Monica, and we’ll see where it goes. I’ll update you soon.
Monica is in the middle, she’s got such great energy.
Seeing Mona – April 16, 2016
I’m no longer seeing Monica. I’m not seeing anyone right now. Likewise, I’m just working very hard on my business and a real estate project. I have made many new friends, though, and that’s always good. Not only that, but I will update you in detail soon. For now, feel free to leave comments below. As you can see, I’m pretty good at replying.
Bank Teller Anecdote – September 06, 2016
I’ve been super focused on my business. We’re opening up an office here in Medellin, a digital marketing agency, Red Door Studios S.A.S. This has led me to go on far fewer dates than before. I do have a nice little anecdote, though.
I was at the bank the other day, and I had to do a transaction with the teller. I was not really paying attention, but when I was called to the window, the girl helping me was absolutely gorgeous. I smiled and said hi, then asked her how she was doing. I think she was taken aback because not many people ask her that.
She said she was doing good, and I told her she must be new because I hadn’t seen her working at that branch. She said that they usually move them around. I told her I needed to make a deposit, and we proceeded with the typical transaction details.
As she was inputting data into the computer, I told her that I thought it would be against bank policy for her to give me her phone number. Therefore, I’d come back when she got off. She said that would be fine. As I walked away, I stuffed the transaction receipt into my pocket and walked into the Exito (supermarket) to buy groceries.
My day was so full that I didn’t even eat lunch that day. Come at 5:30 p.m. I had totally forgotten about the beautiful teller and proceeded to go play basketball as I usually do. When I got back home, I remembered the girl. This has been my life for the last few months: business and basketball (I play on two teams here in the city) and admin of the Medellin Basketball Association basketball group.
As I was getting ready to go to bed, I emptied out my pants’ pockets. The deposit receipt was there and to my surprise, she had written her phone number on the back. I immediately added it to my phone and sent her a WhatsApp message, telling her that I had missed her after work because I got caught up with work, and then I went to play basketball. She replied that it was fine, we exchanged a couple more messages and have been speaking since. We should be going out this weekend.
Everyone’s Single in December – December 14, 2016
It’s the middle of December, and Christmas in Medellin is in full swing. Every weekend is a party, and everyone is single. Even girls with boyfriends are single in Medellin.
My favorite thing about December in Medellin is the street parties in different neighborhoods. The whole block is closed off, and deafening music is played, food is cooked, and dancing and drinking continue into the middle of the next day.
I recently reconnected with a girl who has been an acquaintance for more than a couple of years. She’s pretty and smart but has always had a boyfriend since I’ve known her. Last weekend I went on a Christmas Chiva (party bus), and there she was with a different guy. I just said hi, hung out, and danced with the girls I came with.
After 2 hours of riding around town while drinking and dancing, we talked. Lo and behold, she’s single. We danced for the rest of the night, then, once the chiva dropped us off, we continued talking.
This was last Saturday, it’s Wednesday today, and we’ve been talking on Facebook. Even though I’ve known her for 2 years, I didn’t know her. It turns out that she works for the public utility company here, EPM. She’s an architect and her passion is dancing and is part of a team. She also lives alone and is quite intelligent.
Regardless of what happens to her, I think she’ll be a great friend.
Colombian women are gorgeous. (This is a stock image because “D” didn’t want me using her picture.
D on Colombian Cupid – January 25, 2017
Well, the girl I started seeing in December has become just a friend. I liked her a lot, but she did something that confused me.
A couple of weeks ago, she wrote me on WhatsApp. She noted that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend and was thinking about getting back together. Mind you, this is after we had been out on several dates and gotten physical.
I told a friend about what she had said, and he said that maybe she wanted to test me. To see if I’d get angry and tell her she’s mine, or perhaps she was just being honest with me. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought she was being honest.
I wrote her back and told her that I liked her, but that she needs to do whatever made her feel happy and that I still wanted to be friends, that I’m still here for her whenever she wants to talk or go dance bachata/salsa.
She hasn’t written me since. LOL. I guess she wasn’t bluffing.
In lieu of being…dumped (we were never actually dating, but…still), I decided to reopen my Colombian Cupid Dating Site account. I talked to a few girls, but nothing special.
Then came Dani.
She is 21 and beautiful. At first, I thought, oh, she’s too young…even though her profile stated that she likes guys between 25-35, I still didn’t think we’d have much in common or to talk about.
Regardless, I sent her a private message. Shortly after, she replied and we started to exchange messages. Ultimately I got her phone number and added her to WhatsApp.
We went on our first date last Saturday. Thanks to my notes I know that her favorite food is Italian, so I took her to a great restaurant called IL Castello in el poblado. I had the Fettuccine Alfredo (very good.)
After that, we went for cocktails at a cool restaurant/bar called 37 Park near Parque Lleras, where we had a jar of white wine and lychee Sangria.
By this time I could feel the chemistry, so once we were done with the Sangria we headed over to Vintrash for dancing. Wow, can this girl move, I was floored. By the end of the date, we had connected very well through conversation, physically through dancing, and lots of kissing.
I would have to say that it was the best date I’ve had in a long time. I’m looking forward to seeing her more and where this all goes.
Still Seeing D – March 27, 2017
It’s been 3 months since I last updated. I’ve been “seeing” D this whole time and it’s been great. The best part is that she’s been adamant about not wanting a boyfriend, so I’m still free, thank god almighty!
So hanging out with D has made it clear to me that it is possible to find a girl that’s 21, hot, that I can converse with, and that works and studies. We do have some clashes on things…like her wanting to spend all weekend just “resting.”
Yeah, I’m kinda weird, I guess. Many might say, why wouldn’t you want to be lying around with her all day?
To be honest, I get bored. I usually do stuff on weekends, like playing basketball. I play on two different teams in a couple of tournaments, and I play pick-up as well. Or just going to Ciudad Del Rio to eat at the food trucks. Or going out with a group of friends to a bar or a club and having a fun time.
I’m more energetic than she is, but we compromise. Plus, it’s not like I see her every day or all weekend. Regardless, I’ve been having a great time with her.
A couple of weekends ago, we went to a finca (country house) on the lake at Guatape with a few friends. We had lots of food and drinks, swam in the lake, played soccer, petted cows, and had a fantastic time.
As for other girls?
Well, I haven’t been looking, but it’s funny how when you’re not looking, they kinda find you. Perhaps it’s the nonchalant attitude or the no-pressure attitude. Whatever it is, it’s working well, and I haven’t had any problems getting dates on weekends.
I’ve found some awesome new date spots that I wanted to share:
- Bolivar Dance Club is great if you want to take a girl out dancing. It’s a little more upscale, so you should wear nice clothes. The music is right up my alley, mostly hip-hop and reggaeton. NOTE: it’s 23 and over, I tried to go in there with D, and we were denied at the door.
- Mercado Del Rio – This is a fun place to go to. It’s a big market-style eatery that was built in a hangar. There are many restaurants (mostly barbecue style) inside, including a wine bar, a couple of cafés, and a dance club on the third floor. It’s an excellent place for a date or to hang out with friends.
The D Saga and…Who Pays on Dates? – July 14, 2017
It’s been four months since I last updated. I’m still seeing D. She’s 21, I’m 36, I work a lot and so does she. She works at a bank full-time. So we see each other sometimes during the week, but mostly on weekends.
She’s…a little different.
Before meeting me, she had a bad breakup, and she’s always had me at arm’s length in terms of expressing her feelings. She has always said that she doesn’t want a relationship, that we’re having fun and that’s it. However, a few weeks ago we were out partying with my friends in Envigado.
There were other girls there, and we were all dancing. I danced with a girl, one of my brother’s girlfriend’s friends, I didn’t think much of it. We finished dancing, I turned to D, and she had this angry look. She didn’t say anything and just up and left. She got in a cab without explanation and took off.
I was like…what?
Anyway, I didn’t talk to her for two weeks. I’m too busy to be chasing girls. I like her a lot and I’ve expressed it to her, yet she’s been cold.
Last week she wrote to me and told me that she missed me, I told her the same. So we met up for dinner. She arrived with a gift bag and gave it to me. It was a little stuffed animal and a card, which I thought was awesome.
Women, regardless of their nationality, are weird.
So now we’re good, but with her mood swings, I’m sure we’ll have some sort of fight. The good thing is that she now knows that I don’t like to play that cat-and-mouse game. I told her that I love hanging out with her and that if she ever feels angry or that I’d done something to hurt her that she should talk to me instead of just storming off. So we’re good now, but we’ll see.
Who Pays On Dates?
The man pays. Period. I don’t care how broke you are or how you feel that they are taking advantage of you. In my book…(my dad’s book originally, lol), if I’m taking a girl out for a nice time, I always pay, no question.
I remember when I was a kid and I was going to go on my first date with a girl. I asked my dad for money to go to the movies. He told me that I had to work for it. So I went to his business and worked all day for which he paid me $20.00. He then said that I had to go to work the next day as well. I laughed, and said, “right.” He said I needed another $20 for the date. At 13 I was baffled by this. I asked, “what do you mean?”
He said that I needed to have money for: her movie ticket, popcorn, soda, and ice cream after the show; that if I didn’t go to work the next day he would not let me go to the movies. I quickly found a great excuse, “but I have homework to finish.”
“You know the answer, figure it out,” he replied.
He continued, ‘…paying for everything doesn’t make you a “real man,” the point is that money should never be an issue. If you work hard and smart, you’ll be able to go on as many dates as you want and never have the lack of money hinder your experience.’
How the fuck was I going to argue that?
In Medellin, women, in general, expect the guy to pay. It’s part of people’s frame of mind. Of course, some women will offer to split or pay the whole tab. Furthermore, some girls will want to take advantage. If you’ve got a girl asking you for money or to buy her things, then it’s probably a good idea to stay away. Unless you don’t mind.
With D, I always send an Uber to pick her up and bring her to my apartment or our date spot. It costs about 8,000 pesos ($3.50 US), so it’s pretty negligible. It makes her feel important, which she is, and she’s never late, which can be a problem in Medellin.
Treat Her to Breakfast
Oh, hey, I’ve found some great places for breakfast (now that I’m on a no processed sugar, carbs, or alcohol diet, I wake up early on weekends).
Hija Mia – This is my favorite for two reasons, the coffee is excellent, and the food is fantastic. It’s right here in my neighborhood, Manila, so I can walk over.
Making Myself Better – September 13, 2017
One of the things that I’ve found to really help improve my relationships with women in Medellin is self-improvement. On December of last year, I made a few resolutions to make myself better in all areas of life.
A post shared by Andrew Macia (@andrewmacia) on Sep 11, 2017 at 5:45am PDT
- Improve my body (I’ve lost over 30lbs since January):
- Diet – I was overweight and weak. I vowed to quit eating processed sugar and processed carbs. I’ve held that promise to this day. It’s not a “diet” anymore. It’s a lifestyle. After much research, I’ve decided that the next step is to try the Keto Diet. Even though I’m pretty strict about what I eat, I still eat well. I’ve even formed a Medellin Foodie Group. We meet every Wednesday at a different restaurant. It’s a great way to try new food and meet new people.
- Gym – I joined Smart Fit gym and loved it! It’s only $69,000 monthly for the Black membership, which lets me go to any Smart Fit gym in Colombia. I go to the gym every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.
- 100-Day Challenge – 140 days ago, a few friends and I decided to challenge ourselves and do 100 push-ups and sit-ups for 100 days straight. We made a WhatsApp chat group to keep each other accountable. We upload a video of one of our sets every day. If someone doesn’t upload a video we take $50,000. We finished our 100-day challenge 40 days ago. We felt so awesome that we decided to make it a 200-day challenge. We’re on day 140 today.
- Basketball – I also resolved to play more basketball in Medellin this year. Since January, I’ve been playing every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. I joined three teams to play in tournaments, and games are on Saturdays and Sundays. Basketball serves as great exercise and a distraction from work and life. My Medellin Basketball Association group on Facebook has grown immensely.
- Improve my mind
- Books – This year, I resolved to read more books. At least once a month. This year I’ve read Tools of Titans, Mindset, The 110% Solution, SCRUM, Digital Gold, Treasure Island, Dune, The Best Salesman in the World (again), Little Red Book of Selling (again), One Minute Manager (again.)
- Online Classes – I’m always taking online classes for various things, usually related to my business. I use edX to take online classes at universities like Berkeley, Harvard, and MIT. Currently, I’m doing the Google Online Challenge.
- Improve my business
- 2016 was a good year for my business, Red Door Studios. Since we’re a digital marketing agency, scaling can be tricky and in some cases involves hiring a ton of people.
- I’ve been reading books like SCRUM and The One Minute Manager to help me strengthen my core employee group and it’s been working.
- I’ve also asked for help and advice from some of my friends here in Medellin who have made it big, like Brent Mauriello, CEO of FlexFire LEDS, and Zach Blenkinsopp, CEO of Digital Roofing Innovations. It really is true that your network = net worth.
All of these things have helped me become more awesome. My 3-year goal is to help retire my parents, therefore, I need all the energy, motivation, and positive influences I can get.
Happy New Year! – January 15, 2018
We’re halfway into the first month of 2018. I’m still seeing Dani, aka Puchas. I call her Puchas because that’s how she pronounces the word “push-ups.” She knows I do push-ups every morning, so she always asks, “ya hiciste tus puchas?” and it makes me laugh.
As for “the relationship?” Well, we’ve got it all figured out. We’re just friends, and everyone is happy. I’m just fucking around about the whole figured out part. Anyone who thinks they can “just be friends” has got their head up their booty.
Regardless, I’ve been pretty busy with work, so D is the only girl I’ve been seeing and it’s been fun.
One of my 2018 resolutions is to do more fun things out of the office. Therefore, on the first weekend of the year, I participated in a 3 on 3 tournament in a town called Marinilla (near Rio Negro). Dani was nice enough to accompany me. It was an all-day affair, so her putting up with basketball all day was nice. We got second place.
The old man can still get up.
After the tournament, we went to eat at a great restaurant in the town called La Torre. Marinilla is a cool little town less than an hour outside of Medellin. It’s a little colder than Medellin, so bring a sweater. The town’s population is about 50,000, there’s a town square with a church in the middle, and a zona rosa (a street with nice bars, restaurants, and little shops.) To get there you can take the metro to the Caribe station, where the North Bus Terminal is, and pay $6,000 ($2.00 US) for the bus to Marinilla. I didn’t want to deal with the bus on the way up, so I took an Uber, $80,000 ($25.00 US.) On the way back home we took the bus.
I’m 37 now
My B-Day was on January 3rd. Franco, my brother, organized a surprise dinner at Black Pepper Steak House in Envigado. It was a nice surprise. All of my friends were there and we had a great meal. I had the tri-tip, it was great, I’ll definitely be going back there.
It’s easy to get shit twisted and clump up all Colombian women in one category. I see it all of the time. Foreign guys come here and have a couple of bad experiences, then state that all Colombian chicks are possessive, jealous, and crazy.
If you ever hear that from a guy, make sure to ask him what his experience with women in his own country has been. Odds are he has had the same experience with women in his own country or very little experience with women as a whole. Instead of trying to figure women out I’ve focused on becoming the best version of myself possible, and that has proven to be what women are attracted to.
I’m looking forward to an amazing 2018 here in Medellin, Colombia.
Finca Party – March 12, 2018
It’s been nearly three months since my last update. A lot has happened in these first three months of 2018. I’m still seeing “D” (aka Puchas) and it’s been good. We both work during the week so we only see each other on weekends. I’ve been busy with Red Door Studios. We just moved to a bigger, better office. And all my basketball tournaments (3 of them) are in full swing. So I’m pretty busy.
One of my favorite things to do in Medellin with my friends is to rent out a finca (country home) and have a weekend party. That’s exactly what we did last weekend. About 30 of us rented out a big finca (apparently it is owned by drug dealers or was owned by narcos, I don’t know) and had an awesome party. It’s customary for Colombians to go away to small towns and party at fincas. So if you’re in Medellin, it’s pretty much a must.
We found our giant finca in Santa Fe de Antioquia on this website: http://alquifincas.com/.
We rented a bus. Half of us met at Hija Mia Cafe, where the bus picked us up and took us to the finca in Santa fe de Antionquia, about an hour and a half away from Medellin.
The finca was huge. The best part was the pool
I’m still doing the 100 push up a day challenge. I’m on day 321, so of course, I had to do my 100 pushups a little hungover, on Sunday:
UPDATE #10 – 07/10/18 – Alone Again, Naturally
It’s been four months since I updated and for good reason. I ended things with Dani and have been very busy with work. Let me rephrase that. I ended things with Dani and buried myself in work. Whenever I’m stressed, or feeling down, I dive into my work in order to not think about things.
I don’t think it’s the healthiest way to go about handling negative feelings, but it’s not terrible. I mean now my business is doing the best it has…well….ever. And that’s awesome. My clients and team are very happy.
As for women, I think I’m ready to start making moves.
Apart from work, I go to the gym 3 times a week and play basketball 3 times a week. There’s this girl at the gym that I’m interested in. I see her there every now and then. I have not approached her yet for a couple of reasons.
- I’m being a pussy
- I’m being a pussy
Haha, I literally just sat here evaluating why I haven’t talked to her. I was thinking: she always looks busy at the gym, there’s never a chance, no one wants to be bothered at the gym, she probably has a boyfriend, etc, etc. But in reality, it’s just my own insecurities holding me back.
So I’ve decided to write this:
- I promise that the very next time I see her in the gym I’m going to approach her.
I will update on what happens right after.
Update #11 – 02/01/19 – I Dated Rol for 4 Months
I’ve been putting this update off for a while. Namely, because I had been dating someone.
It all started when my brother’s girlfriend set me up with one of her friends (Rol) on Love & Friendship Day (September 15, 2018).
We all met at a live music bar near Parque Poblado in the evening. A few other friends were there too, so I didn’t think much of it.
When I walked into the place I saw where they were sitting. I walked up I introduced my self, said hi to everyone else at the table, handed everyone a piece of chocolate (I passed a candy store on the way and thought I’d just get everyone a bar of vegan chocolate), and sat down right next to Rol.
I proceeded to order drinks for my brother, his girlfriend, and Rol.
As the live music started and the drinks started rolling I asked Rol to dance. The music was salsa. and she said she didn’t know how to dance salsa. So I proceeded to teach her some of the basic steps.
We had a lot of fun doing that.
As it got later, the music got dirtier. They went from salsa to reggaeton. Rol had no problem shaking her booty to Reggeaton, which was great.
Eventually, we kissed and exchanged information.
Rol is a great woman. She’s 25, works for a major communications company, studied philosophy, and is going for a master’s degree.
After a few dates, she introduced me to her family. They are a middle-class family living in a nice apartment complex with a pool and bbq area. They are super friendly and great to be around.
It felt really good to be in a committed relationship after so long.
Netflix and sangria on Sunday in Medellin
Fast forward to four months later…
I swear that I’m going to find a therapist.
One day, I woke up and thought, “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore!”
The spark that I felt before was gone. It wasn’t anything that Rol did. I just wanted to get out and do my thing, alone. I immediately told Rol how I felt.
She took it badly. She was deep, and it hurt her very much. Not only that, but she told me, “you’re a rock with no heart.”
I felt like shit.
The day after, Rol said that she felt better and still wanted to be friends.
It’s a week after the breakup, and I feel better about it, and I’m confident that no matter what happens, Rol and I will continue being friends.
As for dating other girls?
It’s too soon.
I’ll give it a month and update again.
Update #12 – 05/31/19 – Single and Ready to Mingle
I’ve been single for four months now. Being single in Medellin is pretty fun. As you’ve read in my Medellin Nightlife blog post, going out and meeting girls is not very hard (as long as you speak some Spanish). Throughout my almost nine years here in Medellin I’ve met girls during the day at various places. In this update, I will go over some places where I’ve met some attractive women during the day.
I personally do not like to go shopping. But there are those times where I need to go for some reason, it usually involves me going to the sports store to buy basketball gear.
I don’t know about you, but I fall in love whenever I go to the Mall. The amount of beautiful women is pretty ridiculous.
The last time I went to a mall was three weekends ago. I went to the Viva Envigado Mall for a Craft Beer Festival they held on the top floor. I went with my friends Juan and Joel. Our friend Nathan (Australian) had a booth there promoting his beer Aburra Valley Brewing Co, which is excellent.
We got our mugs and started to walk around from booth to booth, trying various beers.
As we were walking, I caught the smell of freshly made popcorn. I found the popcorn machine, and at the helm was a very beautiful young lady. This girl could have been on T.V. or in a magazine. Instead, she was working a popcorn machine.
I had to say hi.
It turns out that she’s Venezuelan, owns 6 of those popcorn machines, and goes to events to sell. That very weekend she had a couple of girls working at the big book fair at the Botanical Gardens.
Andrew, Juan & Joel at the craft beer festival.
She didn’t give me her phone number. Furthermore, she told me she had a boyfriend when I asked for it. I’m pretty sure she was lying. This is why I look sad in the picture, lol.
Regardless, I told her I was happy for her and her “boyfriend” was a lucky guy.
In all seriousness, rejection is a big part of being single. At least, it is for me. And I’m ok with that. There are so many females in Medellin, that having a girl reject me shouldn’t get me down. At least I went down swinging, and I don’t have to lie down to bed at night with regret.
Downtown (El Centro)
Downtown Medellin is a freakshow. You’ll see people from all walks of life there. I used to live in downtown and that was fun. The sheer mass of people allows for some gorgeous women.
Many of these gorgeous women are from other parts of the city. So talking to them and getting to know their background is fun.
On May 25, 2019, my friends and I had another famous Finca Weekend. Whenever we have one of these big bashes I go downtown to buy alcohol and party supplies.
Rolling with a tall, bald, athletic Canadian black guy (Joel), and a tall athletic, long-haired, bearded, blue-eyed gringo (Kyle) helps attract attention.
And since we’re speaking English and laughing at everything along the way making new friends is easy.
I love walking down Junin street. It’s a pedestrian street that runs a few blocks. It’s full of shops and restaurants. Typically, it’s easier to talk to women working at a store, but it’s also pretty easy to talk to women.
While downtown, I met an attractive female at one party supply store. I told her we were having a Going Away Finca Party for Kyle. She was interested in him, like most women here are. Good thing he’s already taken.
Anyway, I invited her to the finca party, and she said she could go. We exchanged contacts, and she ended up coming along with us.
Throw a Party
This may not be a good solution for everyone since it can be costly to throw a party. I don’t like to throw parties and ask my friends to give me a bunch of money. When I was broke I never threw parties. Nowadays, I throw one every other month.
Sometimes the party will take place at a club, and sometimes it’ll be at a Finca at a pueblo on the outskirts of Medellin.
This month the finca party took place in the pueblo of San Jeronimo. It’s about an hour south of Medellin and it’s hotter, so most fincas have a pool.
We rented a 35-person finca (country home) with a pool and invited all of our close friends. Since all the guys pay for everything (I even got a 35-person bus to shuttle us from Medellin to the finca) it makes it easy for girls to say yes when invited.
Here are some pics from this month’s finca party.
Finca San Jeronimo May 25 2019
Tailgating at the finca.
Chillin in the pool
Dance party in the pool. That’s me in the hat getting into the middle of the dance circle.
Sunday morning hangover in the pool.
For fucks sake! I LOVE my country!
Poolside at the finca.
I’ve learned that meeting people and making long-lasting friendships is the best way to meet even more people.
I consider my friends to be of high quality. Therefore, the people that I meet through them are going to be pretty awesome, too.
Update #13 – 09/24/19 – Forgive and Forget
It’s been 4 months since my last update.
In the last four months, I got back with Rol, then broke up again.
I broke up with her again because I found out that she and a friend (what I thought was a friend) of mine messed around in the period that we were broken up.
I didn’t mind the fact that they hooked up. I mean, we were broken up, and whom she decided to mess with wasn’t my business.
What I disliked was the lying by both parties. Some things were left out from the story that I later found out made me feel horrible.
- When Rol asked my so-called friend, let’s call him, Fake, if we were friends, he allegedly told her that we weren’t. Of course, she felt more comfortable after that. So it makes me feel like he “gamed” her just to fuck her.
- When I asked Rol if she knew that Fake was my friend when she hooked up with him, she said no, but then later, I found out that she did know because she had seen me talking to Fake at the gym and had seen pictures of Fake and me at parties on social media, etc.
As you may know, I’ve dated many women, but I’m old-school regarding relationships (romantic and friendships). Both disrespected me; therefore, they shouldn’t be in my life anymore.
Writing this shit out serves as therapy.
My conclusion is to forgive and forget.
I’m going to focus on the positive times I spent with both Rol and Fake and move on…without them in my life.
On that note…
Let’s Talk About Positive Shit
It’s almost October, and that means Maridaje and Halloween!
What is Maridaje?
Maridaje is a Wine and Food tasting event starting October 3rd at Plaza Mayor (Medellin’s convention center) every year. You pay a cover (which may include a wine glass unless you bring your own), and you walk around to different wine booths where you can learn and taste their wines.
After an hour or two, you’re pretty tipsy and, hopefully, have made new friends.
OktoberFest in Medellin
Believe it or not, there’s an OktoberFest in Medellin. It’s been getting bigger year after year.
It starts on October 5th and it’s held at the Orquidiorama section in the Botanical Gardens.
Medellin’s craft beer scene is growing and at OktoberFest you’ll find plenty of beer options. Furthermore, you’ll find food and entertainment. I recommend you get tickets early because last year they sold out.
Halloween in Medellin
Halloween is fun in Medellin. Many discos are open and will do costume contests. And just like in the U.S. women take Halloween as an opportunity to turn any costume into a sexy outfit.
Many of the nightclubs in Lleras have Halloween costume parties that will probably go into Nov 1, and 2, since the 31st of October lands on Thursday.
I always have a blast dressing up and going out with friends on Halloween here in Medellin.
Nightclubs aren’t the only places to go to on Halloween. You can also go to Hostels. For example, The Wandering Paisa Hostel in Laureles usually has a Karaoke Costume Party every Halloween, which is always a blast.
I hope you enjoyed this update. I’ll be updating again soon.
Soy Perro Pero De Raza – March 21, 2022
I haven’t updated in a long time on my dating life.
I’m now 41, and I haven’t had a steady girlfriend for over 3 years now, and I love it.
I have a steady rotation of women that I see and sleep with. To be honest, that’s the way I want it to be right now. Nothing serious, just fun, and positive vibes. Colombia is an excellent place for a single 41-year-old with exciting things going on that doesn’t want a serious relationship.
I’ve found that being honest is the best policy.
Like in business, I’m not particularly eager to waste my or anyone else’s time. If I meet a girl I’m interested in, and we start hooking up, I tell her I want to be friends.
Being friends and having sex is great until someone catches feelings.
This is why it’s good to be open and honest. Once I start seeing that they’re catching feelings, I tell them we can’t see each other for a while.
Taking a break is always a good idea, no matter how good the sex is.
It allows for them to take a step back and realize that I’m not going to go to the next level with them, and it gives me time to chill. I’ve had to block some girls. Not only because they write me to “hang out” but because it’s hard to say no.
This has been the extent of my dating life for the past 3 years.
I’ve been working very hard on my digital marketing company, which took off a few years ago and continues to do well.
My business partner and I have also purchased a few apartments here in barrio Manila. We gut them, remodel them, and put them on Airbnb. That business has been doing well too.
Also, we have established a non-profit organization, Help Colombia, where we go into underserved, poor neighborhoods here in Medellin, and help with education, shelter, nutrition, and community awareness.
This has changed my life. I really do feel that serving people is my calling in life.
Furthermore, Joel and I do the Colombia Podcast. That’s an enjoyable project that’s gained traction. We do various episodes every month.
Finally, I’ve started my own brand called Life Hacks with Andrew. I do a live episode every single day and upload recorded/edited content every other day.
I guess you can see I’m a workaholic. So I’m not really in search of a steady girlfriend. If it happens, it happens, but right now, I’m having a ton of fun working on my projects, going out with friends, sleeping around, and living life.
I’ve been motivated to reignite this blog, so I’ll post my sexcapades more often.
If you go to this blog you’ll see that I love to write about many different topics. Not surprisingly, this post generates 80% of all of my website’s traffic. The keyword: “Colombian women” is searched over 40,000 times a month, and this blog post is now on the first page of results.
It is not my intention to degrade or generalize Colombian women. I find that dating in Medellin is an interesting topic, and I think I have a unique view.
Medellin is a beautiful city with a lot to offer. Unfortunately, its reputation precedes itself, and most people think it’s just a place to find hot, beautiful, easy women, but when they get here, they’re faced with a harsh reality. I intend to show how these stereotypes are not true, how diverse dating can be in Medellin, and of course, how interesting the Paisa woman is.
I think I covered some very relevant basics here. Still, if you’re actively meeting women in Medellin (or would like to start), Dating Medellin has produced an excellent course that covers everything. I highly recommend it.
Make Comments and Suggestions Below
I love to get insight from readers. Feel free to leave comments and/or questions below.
About the writer – Andrew Macia
My name is Andrew Macia, and the Medellin Buzz is my blog. I moved to Medellin in 2010 and fell in love with the city. I taught advanced-level English for four years and then started a digital marketing agency.
About the Medellin Buzz
I love Colombia! I started the Medellin Buzz as a resource for my English as a foreign language students. A site where they could read about their city in English wasn’t boring. It slowly turned into a personal blog and hub for information for people discovering Medellin. I check comments frequently, so please leave your comments and/or questions below.